When Walls are Good: Building Routines Like Nehemiah’s Wall

 About two weeks ago, my husband and I began talking about getting our soon-to-be 6th grader, Jon, back into school mode after, shall we say, an “unstructured” summer routine. Now began regular bedtimes and wakeup times, and ensuring our long forgotten routines were in place for a peaceful start to the school year.

Beyond wanting a smooth first week back, we’ve also been working—sometimes imperfectly—to help Jon learn how to build systems and structure in his daily life. Like many children his age, Jon needs extra support when it comes to executive functioning*—the mental skills that help with focus, organization, and decision-making. We’ve come to understand that consistent routines are one of the most effective ways to strengthen those skills. More than just keeping mornings calm, these patterns lay the groundwork for deeper habits of wisdom, critical thinking, and problem-solving. It’s a long journey, but for us, it begins with the simple, faithful act of repeating small routines, day by day.

As a former educator, I know this: in elementary classrooms, the first weeks of school are all about routines and procedures. What to do if you need to sharpen your pencil after a lesson starts. Whole class bathroom break etiquette. Even how to go through the lunch line (ever helped a kindergartner punch in their PIN?). Teachers invest all that time up front, not just to avoid chaos later, but to give children the comfort of knowing what to expect. And there’s peace in that—boundaries bring relief.

That sense of structure and protection reminds me of a moment in scripture when Nehemiah helped rebuild the walls around Jerusalem.

Jerusalem’s walls had been torn down, leaving the city open and vulnerable. Nehemiah knew that without walls, the people were unsafe—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually, too. So he rallied the people, and together they began rebuilding, one brick at a time. They worked with passion, determination, and trust in God.

“So we rebuilt the wall… for the people worked with all their heart.”
–Nehemiah 4:6

It strikes me that the routines we build into our children’s days—especially during the back-to-school season—aren’t so different from Nehemiah’s wall. They mark boundaries. They offer safety. They create peace. And they prepare our kids to face the world with confidence.

Each routine we teach our children is a brick in their metaphorical wall:

• A brick of responsibility (homework and chores)
• A brick of preparation (laying out tomorrow’s clothes)
• A brick of rest (bedtime consistency)
• A brick of peace (quiet time or prayer)

These walls don’t build themselves. It’s a group effort—families, teachers, churches, neighbors. It takes a village to build, like in Nehemeiah’s Jerusalem. And the stronger the wall, the more resilient our children become. And sometimes our communities remind us of bricks we might have otherwise forgotten, like including routines for how we care for the unhoused or hungry.

Here are a few “bricks” we’ve been laying in our home:

• The preparation brick – Freezing loaves’ worth of PB&J sandwiches (they thaw by lunchtime!).
• The responsibility brick – Checking the backpack each evening and leaving it packed and ready by the door with forms signed and homework completed.
• The health brick – Using a pill organizer to stay consistent with medication and spending extra time on teeth since getting braces.
• The community brick – Taking time to be a good neighbor to someone in need, even if what you offered was a kind word.
• The rest brick – Prioritizing sleep—even when it means leaving some things undone.

But perhaps the most important brick? The love brick. Saying, “I love you,” before parting ways in the morning. There may not be a more powerful way to start your child’s day than that reminder: you are loved, and you are not alone. George and I love hearing it, too, as we head out the door. You are loved. You are not alone.

So this school year, let’s not just race through the back-to-school madness, but take time to evaluate the bricks we want to include in our kids’ walls. Let’s see ourselves as builders—laying bricks of faith, security, and love. Because when we build with God, what we create lasts.

Heavenly Parent, Thank you for entrusting us with the precious gift of your children. As we guide them in building the walls of healthy routines, grant us grace—not only for them, but for ourselves. In the moments when tempers rise and voices grow louder, remind us to lay each brick with love and purpose. Let your presence be our calming guide, centering us when we feel overwhelmed, particularly when our children resist our best efforts. Remind us of the importance of this work. Help us remain focused and gentle as we teach, knowing that each step—no matter how small—matters. Show us which bricks matter most, and may we always place You as the cornerstone of it all. We ask this in Your holy and faithful name. Amen.

***A wonderful parenting resource – An old college buddy of mine writes an excellent blog called The Thoughtful Parent. Amy, now Dr. Webb, has a Ph.D. in human development and family sciences, and she goes through the scholarly research and translates it into practical wisdom for families. She has extensive work on executive function, so I encourage you to give it a look.