The Pedagogy of Saint Thomas

I’m a big believer in “practice makes permanent.” Muscle memory is a real thing. Any of us who have learned an instrument, memorized a poem, or learned to drive know there is truth to this principle. And in today’s world of quick answers and Googleable everything, I think it’s easy to forget that permanent change, or our habits, takes time and sustained attention. 

One of the joys of my week is chatting with my dad. I look forward to calling him at least once a week, usually on Sundays. I believe I developed this habit of mind from the Sundays of my childhood, sitting with him as he called his own parents. 

In December, my fourth graders decide on a character trait that represents their “best self” and use holiday-festive glitter glue to emblazon that trait on the white rim of an elf hat that they get to wear around school the last few days before Christmas vacation. This is to be a reminder, an intention, of the habits they want to practice to be their “Best sELF.” 

Today is the Feast of Saint Thomas. When we talk about Saint Thomas, the “Doubting Thomas” moniker pops up for many of us. And, I don’t actually believe doubt is a bad thing. At the resurrection, when Thomas says, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe,” we often read that as a “what not to do.” Come on, Thomas. Just believe. But something gave him pause. 

This resurrection was an incredible claim. It was certainly good news, and maybe it was too good to be true. So Thomas waited. He paused. He waited for more information. And ultimately, faith won out. What was true and real was confirmed. It was okay that he infused patience into his faith. It was maybe even anticipated.

The beauty of humanity is that there are myriad ways to be faithful. Sometimes the most faithful way is to fortify and support our community or a community different from our own by moving forward in the ways we always have. Sometimes the most faithful path is to question, to clarify. But no matter which path we choose, that we are thoughtful, prayerful, or purposeful is what Thomas models for us in his life. As a skilled builder, Thomas models attention and intention.

As a missionary, he models prayerful action. Sent by the Holy Spirit, Thomas went to other people to preach the Good News. He learned this from watching Jesus, who went to the disciples and called them. Jesus didn’t wait around for them to come to him; active, not passive. 

What do we model for our children when it comes to being faithful? Do we always go with the crowd? Do we question? Do our children hear us gossip about others? Are we more curious or more certain in our interactions with one another and the world? 

For so many of us, the dictates of cultural norms around school, sports, involvement in the arts, community service (obligatory and otherwise), and other priorities do not leave a lot of time for the things of the home—cooking together, talking together, sharing our days, yardwork, home maintenance—the activities and decision-making that will make up our habits throughout adolescence and into adulthood. 

Living in this world of competition—striving for more, to be better, driven by a (often false) sense of scarcity— how do we have time to live with faithful intention, a plan, as a civilian in society? To give much of anything a second look like Thomas did? 

In this season of maybe a little slower, where can you pause as a family and examine your habits?  When can you notice your pauses?

How do your littles or not-so-littles at home reflect your pace of life and your faithfulness?

What habits is your family internalizing and building for the future?

Advent and Christmas are times when we are reminded that God is so very faithful, sometimes in the most unexpected ways. May your faithfulness grow in the fullness of our outstanding and unrelenting God, just like Thomas’ did.